


The cookie heist or Anthony J. Junior is entirely too much like his father

by Nenchen



Series: Auntie Thief Collection [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Breakfast, Communication, Crack, Crimes & Criminals, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Heist, Humor, Lack of Communication, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22426477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nenchen/pseuds/Nenchen
Summary: Mistakes are made and the snabies find themselves in a horrible situation - banned from eating cookies for three whole days! The cookie jar mocking them from its shelf, they decide to plan a heist. Good thing they have an expert on their side...
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Auntie Thief Collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1613875
Comments: 32
Kudos: 61
Collections: Wiggleverse





	The cookie heist or Anthony J. Junior is entirely too much like his father

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I couldn't resist and it also got a bit more serious than intended again. Junior really is too much like his father. But I promise, it is still mostly fluffy crack! Enjoy!
> 
> A big thank you to everyone supporting the first work of this and to all of you wonderful commenters. You are fueling me!

Baking. 

That’s what had started this. A perfectly domestic scene turned into a scene of tragedy (and comedy) because of two little snakelets who hadn’t yet learned the lessons Junior had had to learn the hard way.

“Do NOT overeat on sweets.”

Thus, an afternoon of baking ended in a visit to the vet because two out of five little snakes looked more like whimsical decorative plates. Junior and the other two had been laughing then.[1] Now however, the consequences of the afternoon were crashing down on them just how people thought that meteor crashed down on those funny dinosaurs.

“Children, we have decided that none of us will be having cookies for the next few days, while Joshua and Nikola have to be careful eating.”

The expected chorus of “Noooooooo” was quickly countered with empathy and sound logic reasoning. An unwarranted and unfairly brutal tool to use against children.

“The last time we excluded only one of you from something they went and abducted themselves, spawn. We all will do this and that’s the end of it. Even your Azirafather will refrain from cookies or other bigger sweets. It’s only for three days anyways.”

_Only three days._

Easy to say for father, he didn’t even eat that many sweets! Though Junior had, on one memorable occasion, seen him swallow a whole cake out of spite because he was miffed with Azirafather.

Azirafather had winced slightly at those words but supported them with a stern nod.

“This is not a punishment, children. This is about support and no one feeling left out. You know that is not a nice feeling.”

They knew. And they also knew there was no possibility to argue their way out of this. 

It was settled. 

And their nice, fresh cookies were doomed to harden like the heart of a fair maiden wronged.[2]

All of them agreed not letting any of them have cookie was unfair. Josh and Nikola said they didn’t even _want_ to eat cookie for a long time! So, no risk. But also, still no cookie. Junior had to set this right.

You see, the thing was, by using his[3] example, his parents had made this Junior’s problem to solve – and Junior had only gotten better at solving problems after his big mistake.

Don’t know what to read? Ask friends and fathers for recommendation.

Want to hear Baby shark in Bentley instead of Queen? Nicely ask Untie Bentley and puppy eyes. Especially father had been very impressed by that feat.[4]

Need a secret, sneaky plan to steal? Ask the expert.

After a quick debate everyone agreed to try.

A good thing they had a shared phone with sneaky Lucy’s number on it. Usually he mainly called or texted her pictures he had one of his fathers take for him. Typing on a smartphone surface was pretty hard for a snake after all. But today, he couldn’t risk his parents hearing him!

He put on a determined face and started booping the phone furiously.

* * *

That evening Lucy got home to a flood of messages on her phone. She smiled. It was the other phone. The one she not so secretly[5] had dubbed `Snabyphone´.

Crowley had been thoughtful enough to get her a modified phone, so the little one’s `voices´ would actually transfer during a call. As a bonus it was also absolutely untraceable, which was incredibly handy. Thus, she always had it with her – except on a job.

What she expected were some adorable pictures, or some asks about snabysitting again. That would be fun.

Weirdly enough, most of the messages were texts. And neither from the demon, nor the angel – but from the contact called `Beboop´, her contact name for the snabies this week.

With a raised eyebrow she opened the messages and started to read.

> Js$nJJ!!1  
>  unti Thif!1!!  
>  W neEEd help  
>  Cookieeeeeeeeee fobiddn!1!  
>  ll sd  
>  plan?!!? 

  


There were several blurry photos of their kitchen and a cookie jar attached. All subtitled with increasing numbers of exclamation marks. And one picture that made her laugh out loud, of four tiny snakes doing their best puppy eyes. She saved it as new background and clicked into the other chats for more info.

The very first had her laugh out loud again. From Crowley[6], it was a picture without comment. And no comment was needed. 

It was of two of the snabies looking as if they’d swallowed a small plate. Or two very small elephants, depending. No other messages from Crowley.

She replied with a row of laughing emojis and a quick message.

> I guess this is why `cokieeeeeee is fobiddn´? Everyone alright? Or at least smiling faces `all around´?

  
Clicking into her chat with Aziraphale[7] now, she was looking for some actual information. He had finally gotten his own smartphone, after finding out how Crowley tended to write – resulting in a fight over who should text, including increasingly bad imitations of each other that left her cry laughing and gasping for air.

Just like expected, she found a brief description of the day’s events with plenty of reassurances that everyone was fine. And that everyone was on a ban for sweets now, as the two unfortunate accidental pancakes still had to recover. 

A message plopped up from another chat.

> Harr harr very funny.  
>  No you won’t get me to like `dad jokes´, as far as I’m concerned I’m `father´ and I’ll damn well stay that.  
>  Also everyone’s fine

  
Nope. The dad joke joke was way too fun to ever stop with it. And a little spy had told her he actually _did_ like them. Betrayal from the own son, classic tragedy. Speaking of which…

> Pleasssse ntie!!111!

  
Aw, it was so cute when they called her auntie. It really made it hard to say no to anything they wanted.

She thought about it for a bit. She didn’t want any of the little ones to get hurt, and the ban on sweets was probably for the best. Maybe she shouldn’t help them – but then again, Junior probably would be planning something with or without her input. Well, then she’d just have to find a way around all that, she thought, while she got out a sketchbook.

* * *

A few hours later, Junior received a message!! Very exciting!

It was just a few sketches of a very elaborate and kind of messy plan, with notes scribbled everywhere. Junior could barely count as high as the number of steps was!! 

The message after read:

> Good luck, ask if you have troubles. Might need some reworking, so do stay in contact. But I’m sure you can do this!

  
Yes, Junior wouldn’t have troubles!!! Lucy believed in him, so he could think all of this through by himsnelf. Though he didn’t see what the bird listed under preparations was supposed to do. Anyways!

Now, what to do first…

The preparations took two whole days of carefully scoping out the bookshop for places to hide, things for safety and some of the material. It would have been way faster if he hadn’t been looking for some things, including the bird, that were really hard to get. He didn’t even know what an ukulele was! 

After a lot of planning, replanning, starting over from scratch and scratching that again with Auntie Lucy the plan now worked with what they had managed to gather. Everyone knew their roles. Everything was set up. Now, the only thing left was to wait until late in the evening…

* * *

It had been a quiet day in the bookshop, just like the last two. 

Suspiciously quiet. 

Crowley was on high alert. The children were taking the cookie ban way too well and he had been expecting something to come up mere hours after the incident. 

But nothing. 

Not even arguing or pleading or anything. And now it was almost over. 

Maybe he’d have to accept that their children went by the rules now. Felt weird.

They were both relaxing on the sofa, Aziraphale reading and Crowley idly tapping on his phone, not really seeing anything he was doing in favor of surveilling the surroundings.[8] A weird feeling sat deep in his guts, as if something was just about to happen.

There!

Movement in the kitchen!

He almost didn’t believe his eyes, even though they hadn’t failed him in over 6000 years.

It was the children. The children with tiny black masks on their faces. Who was that supposed to fool?! There were no other tiny intelligent snakes roaming around in this shop, not even in the whole world. 

With mounting horror, fascination and some twisted sense of pride Crowley watched as his children set up a mechanic that allowed – was that Junior? Yes it was. - to be let down gently, carried in a sock[9], until he reached the cookie jar.

* * *

The plan was going perfectly!! With the help of a clever rope[10] construction, they had managed to reach the cookie jar safe and quiet. Undetected!! Fathers would never be suspecting a thing!! 

Now to phase two.

It took him a bit to pry off the lid of the cookie jar – it was heavy! Finally, he managed to slide it to the side enough to wiggle in.

Auntie Lucy had been strict about this. Break the cookie into very, very small bits or you won’t be able to transport it. He got to work, nudging the crumbs out of the jar and into the transporting vehicle for his sniblings to pull up.

After one cookie he was exhausted. It would have to be enough. He slithered out, catching some movement behind the doorway from the corner of his eye. But nothing when he looked again. Though it was hard to see far in the dark with the mask on. So, better not to waste time! 

As quickly as he could he placed the lid back on the jar and slithered into the getaway vehicle.[11] The crumbs were itchy on his scales, but that didn’t dampen his high. They had done it!! They had gotten forbidden cookie!

Now, the only part left was to wait until tomorrow to eat it. Lucy had been very strict about that. No enjoying the loot until you were sure everything went well and undetected.

They quickly got to disassembling the construction, which took a bit longer than expected because of all the safety measures. His sniblings were hissing quietly.

“AWESOME!!!”  
“That was SO COOL.”  
“Auntie Thief is so smart!!”

Junior grinned proudly. The best thing about his big adventure really had been meeting her.[12] Just like the first time he swallowed a coin had been worth it because they got to meet vet! Sometimes his mistakes were the best thing.

But now! They had to hide the loot quickly and then go to bed. Being a sleeping angel child was the perfect alibi. And he was tired after all of this.

Soon the children ended up in a big, happy pile, sleeping soundly. So sound that they didn’t even notice their father creeping into their room, looking at them, briefly shaking his head at the masks that were not even hidden, and leaving again.

* * *

The next day, the snabies awoke to a beautiful world, in which all was right. A stray ray of sunshine, warm and inviting had wiggled through their blinds and warmed their pile. Birds were singing the loveliest melodies.[13] There was the smell of an amazing breakfast wafting through the air. And their cookie stash had stayed undetected!

They considered celebrating by eating it immediately but decided against it. The crumbs could tell on them. Also, the breakfast was smelling too good to not leave as much room as possible for it.

When they got to the kitchen, both of their fathers greeted them with a smile.

“Good morning my children! In celebration of the official end of the cookie ban, I decided to let you all indulge in your favorite breakfast foods. You all did really well, and I am so proud of you for supporting each other like this.”, Aziraphale said while serving them all.

There was everything, from full English to Crêpes, a mouthwatering feast that made more than one stomach make funny noises. Yes, surely this weird feeling in his guts was just because of all the food, Junior told himself. Not because they were lying to Azirafather. 

He looked around to his sniblings, who all looked very put out and swallowed heavily. One of them had to start and dig in, or they would look super suspicious!!! 

But no one was moving.

Demonstratively, Junior slithered forward to his own plate, and leaned over to take a bite. Of his favorite food. A perfectly spiced bowl of oatmeal. Oh no, Azirafather had even drawn a smiling face on it with cinnamon! He couldn’t take this. It was too much. He broke.

“WE – I STOLE A COOKIE AZIRAFATHER I DON’T DESERVE THIIIIIIIIS!”, he sobbed.

Behind him his sniblings caved in too.

“We all did it!”  
“We planned for two days!!”  
“We just wanted cookies so badly.”

They all crawled forward to Junior, ending up as one sniffling pile of guilt. And they hadn’t even gotten to enjoy the reason for all of it yet.

Their fathers gave each other a look and sighed.

“Stop crying spawn, we know.”

“We do appreciate your honesty in telling us now. Let’s enjoy this nice breakfast as a treat for your, albeit late honesty, and discuss the consequences later, ok?”

The little snakes all nodded, heads down. The guilty conscience and indistinct feeling of having disappointed their fathers was weighing heavy on each of them and made it hard to enjoy the food.

“Perk up a bit spawn. We aren’t mad at you. We both know that sometimes it’s very hard to follow rules someone else sets for you, especially when it’s about forbidding something you really want. It’s how I got Eve to eat the apple after all, remember? No one is mad or anything, we just need you to learn certain things and trust us on others, so you’ll grow up good.”

Fathers speech lightened the weight a bit, but it was not until after breakfast, and after a long talk about boundaries and rules and the reasons for them, that everyone felt better again. Well and the following hugs and kisses and boops helped a lot. Fathers loved them very much, no matter what.

“We know that you all feel very bad about all of this anyways, so we think that you’ve already learned a lesson, didn’t you? But still this needs to have some consequences. So, since apparently, it’s hard for you to not do things, me and father were thinking of something more active. That means you all will be doing some extra chores for a week. Does that sound more manageable to all of you?”

Grumpy noises of agreement. Extra works wasn’t too bad. Maybe Junior could offer to teach father puppy eyes for Untie Bentley!

“Well then! Go and enjoy your day children!”

As they slithered into the playroom, the start of the day was quickly forgotten, over games and fun. Until Junior went to hide for hide and seek, and hid in the same spot they’d hidden the cookie transport vehicle in. The crumbled, but else entirely untouched cookie. Which they hadn’t eaten because…

“FOUND YOU!!”, Joshua squeaked, quickly booping his snoot. 

And just like that, the game continued and everything else wasn’t important anymore.

* * *

At least not to Junior. Crowley, however, was in the process of `inviting´ their newest maybe-soon-not-anymore babysitter to visit this evening for a nice chat.

“I’m sure she meant no harm, dear. Just a bit mischievous, that one, but a good core. That’s why you like her, isn’t it?”, the love of his life said, hugging him from behind and almost getting Crowley to release all of this anger.

But then he added: “We will make sure she didn’t.”

Crowley grinned at this. He loved when the angel was protective over their small family. Their kiss was interrupted by the ding of the incoming message. A confirmation.

* * *

That evening, after the snabies were in bed, Lucy arrived, probably looking every bit as awkward as she felt. 

“Uhh, let me start off with I’m sorry?”

Unimpressed faces. Oh boy. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt like this. 

“Let’s sit down and have a good chat. I’m sure you had reasons for going behind our backs on matters concerning our children, isn’t that right?”

She swallowed thickly and sat down. She’d known the angel was the one you couldn’t mess with.

“Uhh, well, you see…”, she stammered.

In the face of two single raised eyebrows[14] she crumbled like the metaphorical and real cookie.

“To be honest, now my reasonings don’t seem that good anymore. I just thought that they’d do something anyways and that it would be better to help them along so the plan was safe. Thought it was pretty harmless. But I didn’t consider that I was going behind your backs and that there probably were some better solutions. Really I am sorry.”

She wilted when their expressions stayed the same. What was next? Did she ruin this?

Before she could think further, she was stopped by a small voice.

“Nuuu fathers! Don’t be mad at Auntie Thief!”

The small snake calling out was moving to climb up into her lap. Stunned, she held out her hand for him to help. Just like old times.

“It’s right, we HAD other plans and they weren’t good. Joshua thought of making a glider and jumping from shelf!!! And Lucy made it so we only got cookie yesterday and didn’t even eat until today! So we followed the rules!! So you cannot blame her for helping us against rules!”

His father took a deep breath, about to say something. Something to counter all this, judging by the still raised eyebrow.

“Junior.”

“Noooo! I asked! So it’s all my fault anyways! Like I am the reason for cookie ban!”, he cried out, panicking. 

It was all his fault! And now fathers were mad at Lucy. It was not fair. He did everything wrong again. And maybe fathers would forbid Lucy from snabysitting!! He was about to start sobbing, so he burrowed his face in Lucy’s stomach, hugging her wrist as hard as he could.

A soft voice brought him out of this spiral.

“Junior, honey. Bud. Can you look at me?”

He shook his head. He didn’t want to look up. If he just stayed here nothing could happen.

“Please?”

Her tone of voice reminded him of when father had tried to lure in the stray puppy in the back alley of the shop. It had been too scared to come and get food, even though it was clearly hungry and hurt. So father had just stayed there, waiting and talking, until it was close enough to catch and bring to vet. He knew Lucy had the same kind of patience. 

Things would proceed, no matter when.

He looked up at her and she smiled.

“There’s my brave little snake!”

He smiled back a bit. Yes that was him!

“Ok, now, I need you to listen to me very carefully. You are not to blame for my decisions. You are only responsible for decisions you make. The decisions of everyone else are influenced by thousands of factors, even if you are one of them. And you can’t control that. So don’t blame yourself for things other people do, ok? That’s unfair.”

That made a strange feeling well up inside him. Part of him felt lighter. But still!

“But fathers blaming you is also unfair!”

He glared at them. Azirafather looked shocked by the things happening and father had his pokerface on, which meant that he was completely overwhelmed.

“Junior, my dear…” 

Azirafather’s voice trailed off, unsure.

“Junior. Do you really think this is all happening just because of you. The whole cookie ban thing.”, his father said, his voice sounding strange. Clipped. Suppressed. Unemotive.

Junior hung his head. 

“Well, you said so.”

A sharp intake of breath.

Lucy suddenly cradled him in her hands, stood up and walked towards his parents.

“Well this is obviously a much needed private conversation.”

She handed him over to a slightly baffled father.

“I’m making tea.”

And with that, she left the room. 

They all stared after her for a second. Then his parents focus was back on him completely.

“Junior, dear heart, none of this is because of the time you ran away. We just want to protect you all from harm, even if it’s yourselves sometimes. We get scared for you!”

“Girl’s right, you can’t blame yourself for everything. We don’t. We know that you know better now, after all this. It was just a mistake. Misjudgement. Shi- Uh Shoot I should have never said that. Listen m’ sorry, just wanted to make clear that we didn’t want you guys to do something dangerous again ok? Nothing more.”

“But I make so many mistakes! I make mistakes all the time and I can’t stop and I just keep making mistakes and mistakes and mistakes!”, Junior wailed, all of the insecurities he pushed away finally coming through.

Azirafather grabbed him and held him close. Junior hid away, melting into the soft embrace.

“My dear, my sweet, wonderful boy, you are allowed to make mistakes. You even must! You are still a child after all. Making mistakes is essential to the process of gaining experience for life. So, it’s perfectly alright to make mistakes. As long as you realize they were, and you learn something for the future, it’s not a loss. And you, my sweet child, you take something away from every mistake. You gained experience and friends. It’s a remarkable skill to turn things around like that. You ought to be proud of that, really.”

That made Junior feel much better. Though he still was not quite satisfied, something else gnawing at him.

“But! I make you and father scared so often. And I don’t want to! I want you to be happy not sad.”

“Listen here, squirt, worrying about you is our job. We are gonna do that a lot, no matter what you’re doing. Don’t beat yourself up over that. Next time, just listen to us, though, maybe? And talk to us when you have thoughts like this, ok? It’s also our job to help you with emotions and stuff.”

Junior looked at his father for a long while, considering. Then.

“But father. You are not good at emotion.”

His father sputtered.

“That’s!!! You little...”

“It’s true! I heard Azirafather say it and he’s always right!”

“ANGEL!”

This is what Lucy came back to. Somehow, with the three of them bickering the atmosphere felt much lighter than before. She smiled at the tiny snake, all cuddled up and comfortable.

“I take it you guys sorted things out?”, she said, pouring tea into three nice cups.

“YES!” 

“Mostly, I think.”

Aziraphale let Junior slither onto the table, towards the mugs and Lucy.

“Sounds promising! Ok then Junior, off with you. I happen to know it’s way past your bedtime. And I still have to talk with your parents.”, Lucy said.

“But! But I wanted to stand up for you!”

She booped his nose.

“You’re a snake you can’t stand up silly.”

He giggled slightly before frowning again. She interrupted him before he could speak up again.

“And I mean what I said earlier. My actions are my actions. You already did what you could, ok? And I appreciate it a lot.”

He looked at her, then at his fathers, then back at her and hung his head. 

“Ok. Father, bring me to sniblings?”

“Sure.”, Crowley said, stretching out his hand for his son to get on. 

They sauntered out of the room with Junior calling “Goodniiiight!!!”

“Goodnight sweetie!”

“Goodnight my dear.”

And then she was left alone with Aziraphale, both sipping their tea in tense silence.

Until Aziraphale set down his cup and looked at her with an odd intensity. In response, she cradled her mug closer. Ironic, since it had “Hug Mug” written on it in big lettering.[15] A gift from Anathema for the snabies, who liked to curl around peoples mugs during teatime for the warmth.

“Listen. I know you didn’t mean to harm our children. That is obvious to me, and I think Crowley knows that too. But the fact remains that he got very scared seeing our children do something potentially dangerous like that.”

She set on to say something but was interrupted by Crowley coming back into the room. His saunter had a bit less pep than usual, and his shoulders were slightly hunched. The both of them watched him as he went straight for his place besides Aziraphale, grabbing his mug on the way, and sat down with unusually proper posture. The lack of weirdness from not sprawling was balanced by him chugging the very hot tea in one go, and then proceeding to look into the empty mug for a few long seconds.

Finally, when both Lucy and Aziraphale looked as if they were about to say something, he set it down.

“Don’t have the mental energy to get worked up again right now. You’re good. I’d say get better at communicating but yeah. Think we all do.”

“Dearest, are you quite alright?”

“Yeah yeah, well nah. Not when I made our child feel this bad about themselves.”

Aziraphale bit his lip, not knowing what to say. It was the same for him after all.

“Hey. Uh, I know this isn’t really my place to say, but… I think you’re being too harsh on yourself.”

Crowley’s head snapped up to look at Lucy, who looked very uncomfortable, but kept talking anyways.

“You know, kids just… do weird things sometimes. It’s not always because of the parents, or anyone really. Kids sometimes just get weird ideas into their head. It’s all part of their brain exploring things. And Junior still talked about it with you. So obviously you’re doing a lot of things right. Like seriously, when I was younger, I had this weird idea that my art teacher was obviously keeping all of our drawings to sell them to people. For like lots of money. I was imagining our paintings hung up in galleries with her name as artist and got so mad about it. Had a whole plan to get them back and get the money too. And then it turned out she was just making a nice booklet for everyone’s drawings for safekeeping.”

Crowley looked at her as if he’d seen a monkey on a skateboard. Then he snorted.

“You’re really hard to stay mad at.”

“Thanks, I know I am awesome.”, she grinned, then turning serious again.

“Really though, I do want to apologize again. I should have thought of you two too. Will do my best to avoid things like this in the future.”

That gained her a beaming smile from Aziraphale and a “sure it’s fine” handwave from Crowley.

“’s ok. Kinda want to know how you kept them busy enough for three whole days though.”

At that, a mischievous spark appeared in Lucy’s eyes.

“I thought you’d never ask!”

From her bag, she retrieved a mess of papers with neatly drawn and messily scribbled over drawings and mindmaps on them. Both of them looked at the plans, then up at Lucy’s very pleased grin, then back to the plans. Then, finally, Crowley let out a genuine laugh.

“What in the world is `emergency distraction technique: LUAU!´?”

“Well you see…”

* * *

A few hours of discussion of the plans later and a few good shared laughs, Lucy was getting ready to leave. She hugged Aziraphale goodbye at the door.

“Make sure you get home alright, dear girl. And do come over soon. I expect Junior will be very cross with us if not.”

Smiling she nodded.

“Of course. I could never disappoint the little one.”

She turned to shake Crowley’s hand, but stopped when she saw the weird, pensive expression on his face.

“Anything else?”

He looked up at her, frowning.

“You know, you went through the whole plans with us, but there is still something I don’t understand.”

“And what’s that?”

“Why the fuck was the mission impossible theme playing.”

**Author's Note:**

> 1 Because really, they were fine, and it was always nice to visit Auntie Vet![return to text]  
> 2 Diana said he read too many medieval romances when he used this metaphor in the presentation of his plan. But Junior knew strong images and metaphors made for a good rallying speech. And why should not let himsnelf be inspired by great works of literature?)[return to text]  
> 3 Admittedly bad, he knew it had been bad, he KNEW, he was all too aware.[return to text]  
> 4 Completely baffled actually. He could not figure it out.[return to text]  
> 5 In glitter letters on its back.[return to text]  
> 6 aka. `devil put aside for me´[return to text]  
> 7 aka. Mr. First edition[return to text]  
> 8 He should have paid some attention as it turned out later. Because he’d accidentally clicked into amazon and now had curry ketchup, a book titled “Driving for dummies”, a “mama uwu” shirt and a ten gallon bucket of lube not only sitting in his shopping cart but already paid for.[return to text]  
> 9 Whose sock was that?! It was not tartan and Crowley miracled the damn things. A mystery.[return to text]  
> 10 String actually, but very tough string.[return to text]  
> 11 They had debated drawing flames on it, Diana insisting it would make it faster, but ultimately decided stealth was more important than speed in this operation.[return to text]  
> 12 And getting to eat new kind of chimkin nuggest! With cheeeese![return to text]  
> 13 No not a nightingale.[return to text]  
> 14 In perfect synchronity from both of them, it was as stupidly funny as it was uncanny and terrifying.[return to text]  
> 15 A gift from Anathema for the snabies, who liked to curl around peoples mugs during teatime for the warmth.[return to text]  
> 
> 
> * * *
> 
> An undertale reference in my good omens fic? More likely than you think! (Also Yes, little prince again and if you didn't see the mission impossible reference idk what to tell you.)
> 
> Come visit my tumblr at [goodduckingomens](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/goodduckingomens). Comments and Kudos very much motivate me, so please leave some if you had fun. Keysmash comments appreaciated for the true Crowleys out there.


End file.
